A year on from a brain tumour diagnosis, I reflect on having a big cancerous melon for a heed.
One year in
The hard wait
The first few days back at home were easy. It still hadn't really occurred to me to worry too much about the biopsy results. The biopsy itself had been the hurdle, and had been cleared. My sister in law came to visit for a few days with her toddler son. It was a lovely distraction... Continue Reading →
The easy wait
The day after the biopsy began with all the usual poking and prodding that comes with hospitals. Two healthcare assistants, Wendy and Jean came to offer me a bed bath. It seemed a bit previous, having met them mere seconds before, so I politely declined. They offered me a bowl of water to give myself... Continue Reading →
I bring you love
A few seconds in to a dream, Steve the recovery nurse brought me round from the anaesthetic. Bald on the top, with silver hair at the sides, and fairly rotund, Steve was the most beautiful and wonderful man I have ever met, bar my husband. He asked how I was. "BRILLIANT! I'M ALIVE!" I shrieked... Continue Reading →
Trepanning
The days before the biopsy are a bizarre mix of the ridiculous (my hilarious neighbour trying to convince me that there has been a spate of women running off with their robot surgeons) and the way too sensible (applying for a Power of Attorney so A can at least access all my financial affairs if... Continue Reading →
Loved it loved it loved it
The Macmillan 'Understanding Brain Tumours' booklet Sarah had given me represented safe reading material, so it was time to start cautiously learning more. Brain tumours can be primary, like mine or secondary, where cancer somewhere else in the body has metastasised and grown in the brain. There are over 120 types of brain tumour, and... Continue Reading →
Gathering pace
On the morning of the appointment with the Neurosurgeon, we dropped the kids off with my ever helpful parents, and drove to the clinic in silence. What was there to say? I was bricking it and couldn't think straight enough for chatting. We arrived early and booked in. A TV in the waiting room was... Continue Reading →
Aftermath II
Once out of hospital, a microscopically thin veneer of normality settled over life. I focussed my worry on mundane things like how to get all the necessary school uniform, new shoes etc for the kids when I couldn't drive and was pretty much too scared to go out in case I keeled over. Not knowing... Continue Reading →
The kindness of strangers. And everyone else.
This post has been the most difficult to write so far. Not because of the bad stuff, but because of the good stuff. It's completely overwhelming and I really don't have the words or even structure to do justice to the feelings involved. You'll see that from the rambling and lack of any sort of... Continue Reading →
Not today, Satan. Not today. 