Maggie Macmillan

I'm writing this while a third of the way in to 30 sessions of radiotherapy, and the side effects of getting a high strength blast of x-rays to the brain every day are starting to kick in.  Please bear with me if it's a bit rambling and it takes a while to get new posts… Continue reading Maggie Macmillan

Oligodendroglioma cells

Results day

As the biopsy results appointment drew near, things did not get any easier. I know several people with brain tumours. From close friends to friends of friends I've never actually met, each have different tumours and outcomes. Some good and some very bad. Because of our similar deficit, the one who played most on my… Continue reading Results day


The hard wait

The first few days back at home were easy. It still hadn't really occurred to me to worry too much about the biopsy results. The biopsy itself had been the hurdle, and had been cleared. My sister in law came to visit for a few days with her toddler son. It was a lovely distraction… Continue reading The hard wait

Hospital, Limbo, Moaning

The easy wait

The day after the biopsy began with all the usual poking and prodding that comes with hospitals. Two healthcare assistants, Wendy and Jean came to offer me a bed bath. It seemed a bit previous, having met them mere seconds before, so I politely declined. They offered me a bowl of water to give myself… Continue reading The easy wait

Hospital, Limbo

I bring you love

A few seconds in to a dream, Steve the recovery nurse brought me round from the anaesthetic. Bald on the top, with silver hair at the sides, and fairly rotund, Steve was the most beautiful and wonderful man I have ever met, bar my husband. He asked how I was. "BRILLIANT! I'M ALIVE!" I shrieked… Continue reading I bring you love

Children play on the beach under a blue sky
Hospital, Limbo


The days before the biopsy are a bizarre mix of the ridiculous (my hilarious neighbour trying to convince me that there has been a spate of women running off with their robot surgeons) and the way too sensible (applying for a Power of Attorney so A can at least access all my financial affairs if… Continue reading Trepanning


Loved it loved it loved it

The Macmillan 'Understanding Brain Tumours' booklet Sarah had given me represented safe reading material, so it was time to start cautiously learning more. Brain tumours can be primary, like mine or secondary, where cancer somewhere else in the body has metastasised and grown in the brain. There are over 120 types of brain tumour, and… Continue reading Loved it loved it loved it


Gathering pace

On the morning of the appointment with the Neurosurgeon, we dropped the kids off with my ever helpful parents, and drove to the clinic in silence. What was there to say? I was bricking it and couldn't think straight enough for chatting. We arrived early and booked in. A TV in the waiting room was… Continue reading Gathering pace


Brain tumour playlist

The night before the first appointment with the neurosurgeon was a sleepless one. The first two songs on this list played in my mind on a loop. I decided that my subconscious was using music to process my feelings about all this business, and keeping a record of my persistent earworms over this period would… Continue reading Brain tumour playlist


Aftermath II

Once out of hospital, a microscopically thin veneer of normality settled over life. I focussed my worry on mundane things like how to get all the necessary school uniform, new shoes etc for the kids when I couldn't drive and was pretty much too scared to go out in case I keeled over.  Not knowing… Continue reading Aftermath II