The highs and lows of living with a brain tumour.
The Macmillan 'Understanding Brain Tumours' booklet Sarah had given me represented safe reading material, so it was time to start cautiously learning more. Brain tumours can be primary, like mine or secondary, where cancer somewhere else in the body has metastasised and grown in the brain. There are over 120 types of brain tumour, and... Continue Reading →
On the morning of the appointment with the Neurosurgeon, we dropped the kids off with my ever helpful parents, and drove to the clinic in silence. What was there to say? I was bricking it and couldn't think straight enough for chatting. We arrived early and booked in. A TV in the waiting room was... Continue Reading →
The night before the first appointment with the neurosurgeon was a sleepless one. The first two songs on this list played in my mind on a loop. I decided that my subconscious was using music to process my feelings about all this business, and keeping a record of my persistent earworms over this period would... Continue Reading →
Once out of hospital, a microscopically thin veneer of normality settled over life. I focussed my worry on mundane things like how to get all the necessary school uniform, new shoes etc for the kids when I couldn't drive and was pretty much too scared to go out in case I keeled over. Not knowing... Continue Reading →
This post has been the most difficult to write so far. Not because of the bad stuff, but because of the good stuff. It's completely overwhelming and I really don't have the words or even structure to do justice to the feelings involved. You'll see that from the rambling and lack of any sort of... Continue Reading →
A makes me promise I wouldn't Google brain tumours. Dr Google is renowned for his shit bedside manner and extreme preference for worst case scenarios, so just this once, I'm happy to do what I'm told. The first thing I do Google is the stages of acceptance. No idea why though. The five stages we generally... Continue Reading →
A porter arrived to take me for the MRI early on Monday morning, before the scheduled appointments started. Several of the ceiling panels in the neuro-imaging waiting area have been replaced with backlit pictures of meadows and flowers, which is a pretty, nice touch for people being wheeled in and out. Perhaps not *quite* as... Continue Reading →
Saturday morning arrived with me trussed up like a Shredded Wheat in an array of wires after sleeping attached to a gazillion monitors. A team of 3 managed to disentangle the mess, and then a steady stream of visitors arrived, including A and the kids, coming back early from visiting his parents despite my protestations... Continue Reading →
After leaving hospital, we headed home, against my mum's better judgement. She wanted me to stay with her and my dad so they could look after me. I was wrung out and just wanted my own bed. Friends reassured me that half the people who have a seizure never have another. It's just one of... Continue Reading →
Fair warning - this post is a bit serious and grim. This blog will get better, honestly. Well, there'll be more crap jokes anyway. Before, everything was normal. There were good days, there were bad days and there were lots of in between days. Get up, go to work, come home, spend time with the... Continue Reading →
Not today, Satan. Not today. 